


The Indomitable Power

by ikilledbellatrix



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Animagus, Attempted Murder, Break Up, Bromance, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Character Death, Children, Drarry, Epic Bromance, Everyone Is Gay, Evil Voldemort (Harry Potter), F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Crush, First Kiss, First Time, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Panic, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Grandparents & Grandchildren, HP - Freeform, Harry Potter - Freeform, Idiots in Love, James Potter and Lily Evans Potter's Wedding, Lesbian, Long, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marriage Proposal, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Oblivious, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), POV Sirius Black, POV Third Person Omniscient, Physical Abuse, Post-First War with Voldemort, Second War with Voldemort, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, Work In Progress, romione, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikilledbellatrix/pseuds/ikilledbellatrix
Summary: This is my first ever fanfiction and quite possibly the last!! It’s not a bad thing, it’s just that I plan for this to be very long indeed!This fanfic is told from the point of view of Sirius Black. However, it does provide some omniscient scenes.This is a borderline au fic, in that (without giving too much away) Lily and James do not die, Sirius doesn’t go to Azkaban, etc.  That being said, this is not going to be completely happy!Enjoy!Special thanks to my best friend Ciar, for giving me many great ideas to help make this fanfic possible!
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Euphemia Potter/Fleamont Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hope Lupin/Lyall Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Orion Black/Walburga Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 14





	1. First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for mild mention of physical abuse and incest.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)

Wednesday, 1st September 1971

“Sirius Orion Black!” yelled Walburga, as spittle frothed at the corners of her mouth, “Wake up this instant!  
“Yes mum,” groaned Sirius, rolling out of bed.  
Today’s the day, he thought, today’s the day. 

Without a second’s hesitation, Sirius misshapenly stumbled out of his cosy dwelling, pulled on a David Bowie tee, his black leather jacket and some skinny jeans. He couldn’t wait to get to Hogwarts. Eleven years had built up to this moment and now that it was actually happening, Sirius could not contain his excitement. Fireworks were set off inside him, blocking out the slight fear at the back of his mind. 

Sirius finished tying his shoelaces and ran downstairs, having failed to not let his anticipation get the better of him. Upon his entrance to the kitchen, Walburga pushed him in the direction of the table, where Kreacher was laying out Sirius’ breakfast. He wolfed down his food as Walburga met him with a face like thunder, “Sirius!” she barked, “Have you packed your trunk yet?”  
“Yes of course, Mother,” Sirius replied.  
Shit, he thought, I forgot about that.  
“Well then, I expect you to have it set next to the front door in five minutes.” Walburga stormed out of the room, muttering harshly to herself as she went. 

Sirius finished his meal and raced upstairs. After tossing books, clothes and parchment every which way, Sirius had accomplished his mission. He set about dragging the trunk to his door when he heard Orion shout, “Sirius! Come on, we must leave now!”  
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Sirius scowled, struggling to manoeuvre the hefty trunk out of the heavy oaken door. 

At last, he managed the task and proceeded to make his way to the stairs. Fortunately (or rather unfortunately), Orion had caught sight of Sirius’ struggle. “Accio trunk,” he commanded. With that, the substantial trunk glided down the stairs. Alas, Sirius was not so graceful. Because he was leaning on the trunk when his father summoned it, Sirius now rolled painfully down the stairs. Mercifully, he fell straight into Regulus, which provided him with a suitably soft landing.  
”Watch it Sirius!” Regulus exclaimed.  
“Sorry Reggie,” Sirius grinned.  
Walburga shrieked, “Come on!” as she dragged Sirius by the scruff of his neck out of the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place. 

Awaiting them outside was a black London cab; Walburga didn’t want to attract attention to their- so to speak- uncommon provocation. The taxi packed and everyone inside, the forced family sat in silence on their journey to Kings Cross Station. 

Before long, they had arrived and Sirius eagerly began to make for Platform 9 and 3/4.  
“Sirius! There’s no need to be so eager,” Walburga snapped.  
“Sorry Mum,” Sirius responded.  
“Sorry quite simply isn’t good enough Sirius. And it’s ‘Mother’ to you. I swear to Salazar, if you don’t get into Slytherin I might just wring your neck!”  
Orion nodded approvingly but Sirius took no notice and disappeared through the platform wall. 

Once out the other side, Sirius made eye contact with a hazel-eyed boy (wearing glasses) with untameable jet-black hair. They shared a mischievous grin and nodded to each other that they’d join together on the train. The mutual grin, however, was broken when Sirius turned to his parents and stated that he needed to go now. Before he could be hit with Walburga’s missiles, Sirius set off towards the train, without a backward glance.

Just as Sirius was about to board the train, 10 year old Regulus stepped out from behind his mother. Not wanting to evoke Walburga’s wrath unto him, Regulus had remained silent up until now, when he shouted, “Bye Siri!”

Nevertheless, Sirius did not turn back and stepped onto the Hogwarts Express.  
“Alright?” Sirius heard, as James appeared by his side, “I’m James, James Potter. What’s your name?”  
“Sirius Black,” he answered. Sirius mocked a bow, “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Potter.”  
“As am I, to you,” James returned, unable to stifle a giggle.  
“Wanna find a compartment?” Sirius asked. James nodded emphatically and together they strode down the carriageway in search of an empty compartment.

James slid open the door of a chamber to reveal Peter Pettigrew munching on a chocolate frog and reading Quidditch Weekly.  
“Wotcha, Pete,” James said, sitting down opposite Peter.  
“Hi James!” Peter spoke happily.  
Sirius, confused, asked, “You know each other?”  
“Yeah,” James answered, “Pete lives next door.”  
“Oh right, I see,” Sirius said, “Hi Pete! I’m Sirius.“  
“Hullo Sirius!” Peter exclaimed. A short silence followed before Peter broke it, “Erm, can we be friends then? Us three?”  
“Of course,” came James, looking at Sirius who nodded enthusiastically.  
“Cool!” Peter replied. 

Their conversation was interrupted when the compartment door was reopened. A green-eyed 11 year old with vibrant red waves appeared at the entrance. “Is there room for one more in here? Remus has nowhere else to go and my compartment is full,” Lily explained. She gestured to a tall, skinny boy with light-brown hair and sorrowful amber eyes who stood next to her.  
“Of course,” James piped, “I mean, there’s room for two if you’d like to stay?”  
Lily rolled her eyes and turned to Remus, “You’ll be okay, Rem?”  
“I’ll be fine, Lils,” he confirmed. 

Remus sat down opposite James and Sirius but as close to the door as he could muster. Making himself invisible was his one priority. Sirius carefully studied Remus. It wasn’t long before he silently decided that he liked this boy wearing a woollen cardigan with patches on the elbows. He vowed that he would try and include him in the friendship group. 

“Hi, I’m Sirius,” he began. Sirius turned to James and Peter and they each warmly introduced themselves.  
“Remus,” Remus supplied, before returning to the book he had begun reading. 

Yet Sirius persevered, undeterred by Remus’ lack of involvement. At last, Sirius said, “Oh, you like reading do you? I love muggle books, but Mother and Father are always confiscating them from me.”  
Remus looked up and replied, “I could lend you some of mine. I’ve got books falling out of my ears!”  
Pleased that Remus was becoming more at ease, Sirius joined in laughter with the other boys. Soon after, the four boys changed into their robes and then, Remus shared out some chocolate.  
“Oh, Remus. This is delicious!” James proclaimed, Sirius and Peter agreed with him.  
“Ah yes, Cadbury’s is the finest chocolate in the world,” he responded, and with a hint of pride he went on to say, “And it’s muggle!”  
Peter’s mouth dropped open as his awe of such delicious chocolate became obvious. “Wow,” he remarked.  
“Here,” Remus said suddenly to Sirius, “I’ll bet you’ve never had muggle chocolate if you’re not allowed muggle books. I suppose I’m lucky, being a half-blood.”  
“Me and Pete are purebloods,” James voiced, a tactful lack of pride in his tone.  
“Same here,” Sirius frowned, “And don’t I know it.”  
“Wait a minute,” James mused as it dawned on him, “You’re from the noble house of Black aren’t you?”  
Sirius answered, “Yup. Although, I wouldn’t call it so noble.”  
“How come?” Peter queried, intrigued.  
“Well, there’s the inbreeding, the long line of Slytherin pride and the abundance of Death Eaters.” Sirius explained.  
“You don’t mean as in You Know Who?” James questioned, half horrified, half fascinated.  
“I do,” Sirius stated, “All of my family has been in Slytherin. For generations. And ever since that man has come into the forefront, death eaters have as well. From my family. My cousin Bellatrix is absolutely one of them,” Sirius shuddered at the thought, “If I don’t get into Slytherin, Merlin knows what’ll happen to me. Which is why I want to go anywhere but Slytherin.”  
“I understand mate,” James comforted. He told a surprisingly funny joke to steer the conversation out of darkness. Fortunately, he succeeded and the rest of the journey continued in such fashion: cracking jokes, sharing interests and telling stories. 

By the time the Hogwarts Express had reached its destination, the four were all fast asleep. Sirius had a smile splayed out on his lips, he had won Remus over. And James. And Pete. He had found friends. Fond thoughts swam through his mind and Sirius calmly realised that he was no longer drowning in loneliness. 

Soon enough, the boys were rudely awoken by the toot of the train’s whistle.  
Sirius turned to the stirring Remus, “Ready?” he asked.  
“As I’ll ever be,” Remus smiled.  
“Hey, I’m ready too, you know,” James’ voice came.  
“I’m not!” chipped in Peter.

And with laughs and grins a-plentiful, the unlikely group made their way out of the train and towards the small rowing boats that Hagrid, the gamekeeper, had prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Hopefully the first of many!!


	2. The Sorting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly longer than the first one, but I am sure that no two chapters will be the same length, by the time I finish this fic.  
> No CWs for this chapter!  
> Mentions of Lycanthropy and some making fun of teachers!  
> I hope you enjoy! :)

Later on the 1st September 1971

Following the short trek from Hogsmeade Station, Hagrid herded the first years towards a vast lake, where a large number of small boats were plugging across. On the close horizon, Hogwarts stood in all its majestic glory. Many of the first years stared in awe at the building: its grand architecture could not compare to anything they'd seen before. 

“Right, then. Firs' years, I wan' you to carefully gather round,” Hagrid began, “Not too close to the edge lad, you'll be drenched. Are we listening? Okay. These here boats will take you over the Great Lake, up to the front of Hogwarts. Four people per boat if you don't mind. I said four people ! Mulciber, eh? Come on now, hurry up.”

As on the train, Sirius, Remus, James and Peter made way for their own boat. They clambered on clumsily, almost capsizing the small vessel in their wake. Once settled and the boats had begun their journey, Peter gasped in veneration, “No oars? It's like magic!”  
“No shit, Pete!” retorted Sirius as James and Remus shared a friendly snigger. 

The watercrafts continued on their trip and soon enough, they had reached their destination. A flurry of first years exited the boats, travelled through the grand doors of Hogwarts and came to rest at the entrance staircase. The youthful crowd was greeted by a stern looking witch, dressed in emerald green with a matching pointed hat.  
“'Ere they are, Minerva,” Hagrid said with a kind smile.  
“Thank you, Rubeus,” Professor McGonagall replied.

“Welcome to Hogwarts. You are of course the new first years. I am Professor McGonagall; Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, Head of Transfiguration and the Head of Gryffindor House,” McGonagall informed them with a flourish, her strict Scottish accent somehow creating a soothing atmosphere amongst the first years.  
“Not to mention Head of Ridiculous Robes,” Sirius whispered to James, who smirked in response.  
“Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates,” the formal witch continued, “But before you can take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Now whilst you’re here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose those points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup. The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily. If you'd like to follow me into the Great Hall.” 

It wasn't a question; it was an instruction. 

Professor McGonagall led the students through two large doors and into the Great Hall, where there were four long tables seating around a thousand pupils altogether. Murmurs and points at the ceiling could be heard as the first years observed the plafond, bewitched to look like the night sky. Additional whispers sounded as the first years' gazes reached Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts. A cloud of wonder settled around the newcomers as McGonagall guided the first years to the front of the large room where the Sorting Hat was laying on a stool.  
“Will you all wait along here, please? Now, before the ceremony commences, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words.”  
A tall, thin man , with silver hair, flecked with auburn, and a beard so long that it looked as though it could be tucked into his belt, arose. 

“Woah! His nose is so crooked it looks like it's been broken at least twice!” Sirius observed to which James grinned. This such communication came under scrutiny by Professor McGonagall, which successfully earned James and Sirius a hard glare each. 

“I have a few start of term notices that I wish to announce,” the old man started, “The first years please note that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you that roaming Hogwarts is strictly forbidden after curfew,” he gestured to a ragged old man holding an evil looking cat with red eyes, “And now, please begin!”

“When I call your name, you will come forth. I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses,” McGonagall informed the first years, “Bertram Aubrey.”  
The Sorting Hat stirred as it was placed upon the head of 11 year old Bertram, “Ah, lots of intellect here I see, better be Ravenclaw!”  
The Ravenclaw table erupted as Bertram happily ran to take his place.  
“James!” hissed Sirius, “I really hope I'm not in Slytherin.”  
“Same here, mate. To piss off your parents?” James asked.  
Sirius replied, “Yeah, but not just that. I also don't wanna be in a house with a bunch of sly, evil twats!”  
“Fair enough,” piped James, heartily,

“Sirius Black,” Professor McGonagall called.  
“Sirius!” Remus nudged him, “Siriuuss! You're up!”  
Sirius' smile vanished as he walked up to the front, McGonagall frowning at his previous conversation with James. He sat down cautiously on the stool as the unimpressed witch placed the hat on his head. All of Sirius' forgotten nerves flooded back. His mind was inundated with worries and concerns. Sirius was petrified. What if he was sorted into Slytherin? What if he turned out just like the rest of his family?  
No, Sirius thought, I'm not like them . Just breathe.  
“Another young Black... Let me see... Oh yes, there's courage- no doubt about that- alongside a tendency to break the rules? Hmm, no sly intent however... I suppose it should be Gryffindor!”

Sirius immediately relaxed, a huge burden was lifted off his shoulders as the Gryffindors cheered. Once in his place, Sirius waved at James who returned his gesture with a thumbs up. But the ceremony was not over yet. Sirius just hoped that James would at least join him in Gryffindor. Remus would be good too, he thought, Peter would be okay.  
But deep down, Sirius wasn't bothered who out of those three might join him, he just wanted to have a friend. He was terrified of losing the friendships that he had only recently secured. Through chance. That might not happen again. 

Sirius was pulled out of his inner thoughts as Gryffindor cheered once more. The sassy redhead from the train, Lily Evans, had been sorted into Gryffindor. Sirius joined in the applause as Lily seated herself opposite Sirius. Lily could be a friend, he thought. 

Once again, Sirius' thoughts were interrupted as Remus took to the Sorting Hat. His heart skipped a beat as Remus closed his eyes. “A Lupin I see, your father, Lyall, was quite the duelist, young man. You take after him in many ways, it must be Gryffindor!”  
A wave of relief floated refreshingly through Sirius as Remus took his place next to him. One friend, he counted.  
After that, Sirius couldn't really keep track of the Sorting: he was too invested in having more friends join him in Gryffindor.  
Mary Macdonald. Gryffindor.  
Dorcas Meadowes. Gryffindor.  
Marlene McKinnon. Gryffindor.  
Mulciber. Slytherin.  
Sirius couldn't help but wince every time a Slytherin was sorted. He was so grateful to not have the same fate befall him. He couldn't wait for his parents to find out. 

On with the Sorting.  
Next came Peter Pettigrew.  
The short, plump boy with blond curls appeared increasingly anxious as the Sorting Hat was placed on his head. And so he should have been: minutes ticked by and the Sorting Hat still hadn't made a decision. It felt like a century before Sirius saw Peter skipping happily towards the long Gryffindor trestle. A smile crossed Sirius' face. Two friends, he added. 

Next up was James Potter. Sirius crossed his fingers and scrunched up his face in hope. But he needn't have worried. For as soon as the old hat had barely even made contact with James' head, it shouted, “Gryffindor!”  
Acclamation captured the Gryffindors as James' results gratified them. Three friends, counted Sirius, as a wide grin seized his face. However, the ceremony was far from finished.  
Evan Rosier. Slytherin.  
Severus Snape. Slytherin.  
Sirius' eyes followed Snape as he proudly made his way to the Slytherin table. Snape caught Sirius' gape and he gave Sirius an evil, mocking grin. Severus knew that Sirius had broken the Black family tradition of being sorted into Slytherin and he was not by any means going to make it easier for him. Sirius scowled back at Snape. One enemy, he thought. 

Sirius let his glare follow Severus for a short while. Although he had only just 'met' Snape, Sirius loathed him. From his black, limp, greasy hair to his hooked nose, Sirius detested every part of him. So, it was only to Sirius' disgust when he noticed that Snape had waved at Lily. Lily Evans. A Gryffindor! Of all people. Not only that, but Lily had the audacity to wave back! Sirius was beyond distraught, he was horrified at the spectacle unfolding before him. A gut feeling was telling him that Severus was bad news, and he didn't doubt it for a second. 

Remus, noticing Sirius' indignant expression, nudged Sirius and said, “We live in the same village. Lily and I. And Snape. They'be been best friends for as long as I can remember.”  
“But..but... Snape's a Slytherin!” Sirius protested.  
“Yeah, well, as much as I dislike him myself, he wasn't in Slytherin before today and he has been kind to Lily for years. Especially when she has a hard time at home. She's muggleborn, you see,” Remus explained.  
Sirius nodded his understanding, dissent still burning in his eyes while James began to interrupt his hatred, “I hope I'm not barging in, chaps, but the old Bag's about to speak and I don't fancy detention on day one. I hope you're okay Sirius; after I was sorted you only seemed to pay attention to Snape! I do hope you've not found trouble without me!”  
After sharing laughter, the boys- along with their fellow Hogwarts students- turned to face Albus Dumbledore who had risen once more. With a flick of his wrist, he withdrew his wand and conjured a lectern in front of him.  
“I know I spoke earlier on, and those notices remain, but now that the Sorting is over, I would like to give my humblest of greetings to the first years who have joined us here at Hogwarts, today. And to the rest of you, welcome back! Here's to another year of learning, friendship and fun,” Dumbledore declared, before pointedly making eye contact with Sirius and James. A twinkle shone in his eye as though he knew who would cause all the 'fun'. He continued, “But before the year begins, let's all tuck in, to the grand First Hogwarts Feast!”

After a cheerful round of applause, Dumbledore clicked his fingers and platters laden with all kinds of food appeared on each of the house tables. Every kind of dish imaginable appeared out of thin air and filled every spare space on the tables. Sirius watched in amazement as further down the table, a swiftly emptied platter in front of third years, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, miraculously refilled.  
Well, this is a school of witchcraft and wizardry, thought Sirius.  
He looked around hesitantly before he realised everyone else was tucking in to the delicious food. He did the same and turned to face James, who immediately pointed at Peter, who was preoccupied, stuffing his face with two chicken legs at once.  
“Hungry there, Pete?” James commented, disturbing Peter from his fix.  
Peter grumbled inaudibly in response which caused James and Sirius to fall about in laughter. Remus all but rolled his eyes and continued chatting to Lily about their hopes for Hogwarts. 

Sirius went back to his food until he decided that throwing food into James' mouth was an incredibly fun game. Before they knew it, James and Sirius were engrossed in a competitive food firing rivalry, in which one person had to catch food in their mouth that the other had thrown. Remus couldn't take the chaos any longer and cut in, “Are you serious?” he chastised.  
“As far as I know, my birth name is Sirius, yes,” replied Sirius, quick off the mark as ever, warranting him a high five from James as Peter grinned helplessly.  
Lily rolled her eyes and went to sit next to Marlene, who was absorbed in a conversation with Dorcas. Alas, Remus couldn't suppress a broad smile. Unfortunately for Remus, this was the birth of a long life of Sirius-name-puns. 

Dumbledore sliced through their mayhem as he stood in front of the lectern again and cleared his throat, “First years, your house prefects will escort you to your common rooms where you will be directed to your dormitories. Your belongings have already been brought up. Have a lovely evening.”  
Shortly afterwards, a fifth year Gryffindor, Sturgis Podmore began to introduce himself, “Hello everyone. If you would all follow me, I'll lead you-”  
Sturgis was cut off by Professor McGonagall who asked to speak to Remus. Sturgis agreed and told the first years to wait for a few minutes until Professor McGonagall had finished speaking to Remus.

Sirius watched curiously as McGonagall led Remus a short distance away before casting the muffliatio charm. Despite the spell, McGonagall proceeded to speak in hushed tones, “As you know, Remus, the full moon falls on Sunday. In regards as to what you have to do, you must report to the hospital wing at 5pm, where Madam Pomfrey will escort you to the Shrieking Shack. Now, the Shrieking Shack is protected by a Whomping Willow specimen, so it is very dangerous if you go near it without it being immobilised. Are you with me so far?”  
“Yes, Professor,” Remus answered.  
“Good,” continued McGonagall, “You will stay in the Shrieking Shack for your transformation until 6:30am, when Madam Pomfrey will come and collect you. Before taking you back to the hospital wing, she will treat any cuts/wounds/breakages you may have before accompanying you back. Then, she will finish tending to any possible injuries you may have before giving you a sleeping draught. You must stay in the hospital wing until Madam Pomfrey says that you can leave. Do you understand?”  
“Yes, Professor,” replied Remus.  
“Here's a map to help you find your way,” stated McGonagall as she handed Remus a basic map of Hogwarts.  
“Thank you,” Remus returned, a grateful yet haunted look in his eyes.  
“Off you go then,” finished McGonagall.

Remus headed back to his fellow Gryffindor first years and Sturgis.  
“Is that everyone? Yes. Alright, let's go,” Sturgis said as he led the students out of the Great Hall, down the corridor and towards the stairs. Another bout of awe controlled Sirius as he watched staircase after staircase move from its original position.  
“These are, of course, the moving staircases,” Sturgis explained, “I don't recommend getting stuck on one when you've not got much time to get to class. Very frustrating.”  
James turned to Sirius whilst following Sturgis up a staircase, “Promise me you'll come and explore where every one of these staircases leads?”  
“Of course!” Sirius nodded vehemently, a mischievous glint in his eye. He nudged Remus, “Would you wanna come?” he asked.  
“Come where?” questioned Remus.  
“To explore this place with me and James!” Sirius informed him.  
“I don't want to get caught,” Remus explained, “And you shouldn't be exploring, you'll get McGonagall on your case in the first week!”  
“But it'll be fun! Please, Remus? We can do it on Sunday, in the evening. James' dad got him this really cool invisibility cloak thing so we wouldn't even have to be seen!” pleaded Sirius.  
“I can't, Sirius. Pete'll go. Er, I'd love to go, but.. but.. I've got to visit my ill grandmother on Sunday,” stammered Remus. Whilst he couldn't fault Sirius' proposition, he had to say something, he needed to go to the hospital wing at that time!  
“Oh,” responded Sirius, not believing him, “Is that what McGonagall called you over for?”  
“Mmm,” nodded Remus emphatically, unaware of Sirius' disbelief.  
Sirius' heart fell as he knew Remus would miss out, but as much as Sirius wanted to include him, he also wanted to respect his friend's wishes.

After climbing many staircases, the group of first years had finally gotten to the top of Gryffindor tower.  
“This is Gryffindor Common Room,” announced Sturgis, “Entry is through the Fat Lady portrait. Listen carefully to the password, for I shan't be repeating it. Cor Fortium.”  
As soon as the Fat Lady portrait swung open, the first years noisily piled through the short tunnel to their new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	3. First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of some great bands in this chapter!  
> Enjoy!

Late in the evening, Wednesday 1st September 1971

“Fancy a game of exploding snap?” Sirius asked the three other boys. After spending an hour or two in the cosy Gryffindor Common Room, they now lounged about on their beds in their dormitory. Sirius, of course, was deathly bored, as he lay twiddling a pack of cards between his thumbs.  
“Sure, mate!” James responded, “Come on, then.”  
Sirius skillfully shuffled the pack as Peter stared in amazement, “Wow! You're so good at that!”  
Sirius chuckled, “Well, I've had plenty of practice. When you live in a household where you're a disappointment to everyone and your own brother doesn't want to speak to you, you've got to learn to make your own fun.”  
“Fair fair,” said James, “Remus? Why don't you put that book down and come and play with us?”  
“I'm okay, I want to finish reading Hogwarts: A History,” Remus explained.  
“Please Remus?” begged Sirius.  
“Yeah, come on, Remus,” added Peter, for fear of being left out.  
“Fine,” Remus agreed and made his way over to join the others at Sirius' bed.

A round later, and Remus was at ease; having won that round and the next two rounds, he was rather contented and he relaxed in the company of his newfound friends.  
“How about we make the next round a bit more interesting?” Sirius piped.  
“I'm listening,” answered James.  
“How about we play for a galleon. So, the winner will win three galleons,” explained Sirius.  
“Sounds good to me,” Peter replied.  
“Yeah,” came James.  
“Okay then,” accepted Remus. His heart was pounding- he didn't have a galleon to give. The reality was that Remus and his family were very poor and although he always kept a good spirit, Remus never had had as much fun as he'd had that evening. Simply because his family couldn't afford it. Nevertheless, Remus didn't let that trouble him. He just had to ensure the win would be his. 

The game began, and Remus was as fast as lightning. Every time he saw a matching card he brought his wand down as fast as his elbow would allow. Cards were exploding left, right and centre. Neither James nor Peter were fast enough to even spot their matching cards as the round became a ruthless head-to-head between Remus and Sirius. Remus wasn't of a competitive nature, but he was adamant that he was going to win, he wouldn't take the winnings, but he had to win. Sirius on the other hand was a very dog-eat-dog kind of person (pun intended): he could take being a disappointment or being punished. But there was one thing he couldn't take. And that, was failure. He couldn't lose to Remus a fourth time!

Time was ticking by, nervously for Remus, yet ambitiously for Sirius. There was no hope for James or Peter as both Remus and Sirius had gotten down to their last card each. Eyes belonging to James and Peter flicked back and forth, in the same manner of onlooking a muggle tennis match. High tension was adrift and despite it being a friendly game, both Sirius and Remus played like their lives depended on it. In an instant, both competitors thrashed their wands down to tap the top card. Who was the victor? It was unclear as the smoke from the exploded card loitered. When it had dissipated, James thumped Remus on the back, “Well done, Remus! You won again! Never have I seen that many wins!”  
“Well done, Remus,” Peter chirped.  
“Yeah, well done. I guess,” grumbled Sirius who proceeded to laugh. It was only a friendly game, after all.

“Come on then everyone, cough up for Remus,” James demanded.  
“It's okay, keep your money,” Remus pleaded.  
“It's okay Remus, you won,” Peter said.  
“I said keep it!” Remus shouted as he ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. It was unlike him. Remus had never had an outburst before in his life. Maybe it's the closeness of the moon, he thought. Either way, Remus didn't care. He felt terrible for shouting at his friends when they were being nice to him. A heavy brick of guilt lodged itself in Remus' heart as he began to quietly sob to himself. He didn't hear Sirius silently let himself into the bathroom. He took no notice as Sirius walked over to him and sat next to him on the icy tiled floor.  
“You okay?” he asked.  
“Yeah,” Remus answered, looking up and wiping the tears from his face.  
“It's okay to not be okay, Remus. Remember that. If you don't want the winnings that's fine. But I have a feeling there's something wrong that you're not telling me,” Sirius coaxed.  
“I'm.. I'm fine..” Remus stammered, “It's just that.. oh never mind, I'll not burden you.”  
“Remus, you're not a burden.” Sirius explained, “I know I only met you today and we're not the closest yet, but I'll always be here for you. Always. You can tell me.”  
“Fine. I didn't have a galleon to give so I felt guilty in taking three off you and the others,” he didn't mention being poor or his lycanthropy, no one could know.  
“That's okay, Remus. We won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. Please come back in? It's late, time for bed now.”  
“Okay,” Remus answered, getting up from the floor.  
Sirius did the same and before Remus knew it, Sirius had pulled him into a warm hug, “Thank you.”

Remus gave Sirius a weary smile before walking back into the dormitory. Much to Remus' surprise, Lily was standing in the doorway, engaged in -what appeared to be- an argument with James himself. Remus was grateful at her arrival- his outburst was now forgotten.  
“Remus! There you are!” Lily exclaimed, “This arrogant toerag, James, wouldn't tell me where you were and I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your copy of Advanced Potion Making. I accidentally left mine with Sev and I need to check something.”  
“Yeah of course, Lily,” Remus replied as he briskly retrieved the book before handing it to her.  
“Thanks, Rem. You're the best,” praised Lily as she sprinted out of the room.

“I'll make a wife out of her, yet,” James declared.  
“The fuck you won't,” sniggered Sirius as he, Remus and Peter fell about laughing.  
“You've known the girl a day, James. I've known her forever and I can tell you now, she does not like you one little bit.” Remus informed James, much to his disappointment.  
“She'll come around,” stated James, adamantly.  
“Of course she will. Who can resist your luscious windswept locks, and lop-sided glasses, and meagre 5ft3 stature,” mocked Sirius.  
“Wanker,” snarled James, playfully.  
They laughed with aching sides, at James, who couldn't secure a girl after one day of knowing her. To say his pride was hurt would be an understatement. 

“I think I'm gonna call it a night,” Sirius said, with a yawn.  
“Me too,” Remus responded.  
“Looks like Pete already has,” laughed James who pointed at Peter, out cold on his bed.  
“He's not in his pyjamas, should we wake him?” asked Sirius.  
“Nah,” replied James, “Let him be.”  
“I am a broken-hearted person living in the world, and I agree,” joked Remus, causing Sirius to wheeze.  
“What's up with him?” asked James, oblivious.  
“Don't tell me you've never heard of the song 'Let It Be' by the Beatles?” countered Sirius, distraught.  
“The Beatles? Who are they? Muggle, I'm guessing,” James said, rolling his eyes.  
“Only the best muggle band in the history of muggle bands,” announced Remus.  
“Hey! What about David Bowie? The Rolling Stones? Pink Floyd? Led Zeppelin? The Monkees? Fleetwood Mac? Elton John? Wait he's a wizard,” argued Sirius, vehemently.  
“Someone likes muggle music,” laughed Remus.  
“Out of those, I've only ever heard of Elton John because he's a wizard and David Bowie because of the shirt you were wearing on the train,” declared James.  
“Shit! I forgot about Queen. They are absolutely superior,” proclaimed Sirius, ignoring the reappearance of James' rolling eyes.  
“Yeah, yeah. Enough talk about music. I think it's time for bed now, I want to explore everywhere tomorrow and I can't do that without my beauty sleep,” explained James.  
“Yeah okay then,” agreed Sirius.  
“Night then,” said Remus to which everyone returned the farewell. 

Remus made his way back into the bathroom to get changed and brush his teeth. He had just locked the door when he realised he had forgotten his toothbrush. Back into the dormitory Remus went, until horror stopped him in his tracks. There was Sirius. Parading around the room stark naked with James cheering him on also without clothes. Remus wondered how they could just let themselves be naked in front of others. It was absurd! He frantically went and searched through his trunk, sprinting back into the bathroom once he had found his toothbrush.

Remus quickly got changed, brushed his teeth, washed his face and went back into the dormitory. Thankfully, the light was off and James and Sirius were in bed with their hangings drawn. Asleep? Remus did not know but he just hoped that they hadn't seen the look of terror on his face when he saw their antics just a few minutes earlier. He cautiously got into bed without a sound and slowly drifted off to sleep. The promise of tomorrow hung in the air as it ran away from the lurking full moon on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who got the Beatles reference straight away, this is a request to be friends. You are very cool :)  
> Could this be a very early baby Remus gay awakening?


	4. Hogwarts Exploration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fairly eventful chapter.  
> Enjoy :)

Thursday 2nd September 1971

Sirius woke up to the sound of James pacing back and forth, muttering to himself, “James, it's barely half six, go back to sleep.”  
“Can't I'm afraid, mate,” James replied, “Not only do I always get up this early, but I am conspiring against the Slytherins.”  
“How come?” Sirius asked.  
“Snape. Mainly. I have a bad feeling about him, he's been hanging around that Mulciber and Rosier ever since yesterday's feast and their families are bad news,” James explained.  
“Tell me about it, their families have been at my house before. Death Eater shit, I'm sure,” Sirius informed him.  
“Exactly. This is why I need to get at Snape. Before he does something he'll regret,” said James with clenched teeth.  
Remus who had been eavesdropping on their conversation stirred, “James. It is literally the first full day we'll ever have at Hogwarts.I know lessons don't start until Monday but don't you think by doing something to Snape you'll just aggravate him. And besides, we both know that the real reason you don't like him is because of how close he is with Lily.”  
“Hey. That's not the reason. It's still fun anyway! I have some dungbombs to use up,” countered James.  
Sirius grinned widely as Remus rolled his eyes, Sirius couldn't wait to wreak havoc amongst the Slytherins. After all, he hated them with a passion he couldn't contain. He hadn't told the others, but his cousin Narcissa was in sixth year, so that gave him even more of an incentive to annoy the Slytherins. 

Remus knew that both James and Sirius wanted to have fun so he compromised, “Hey, Pete's still asleep. How about we have a little fun before breakfast?”  
“What did you have in mind?” asked James.  
“We tickle him awake. Grab all the feather quills you have and we can get started!” Remus exclaimed.  
“You're brilliant!” shouted Sirius, before being hushed by Remus so as not to wake Peter before they could play the prank.  
After a short, muffled search, the three boys had their ammunition prepared. Feathers at the ready, they undrew Peter's hangings and stood poised above him. Remus silently counted them down and then they were off, tickling Peter on his face, his neck, his arms and his legs. It was a sight to see. Soon, Peter came to, spluttering and giggling as the three others realised that Peter was the most ticklish person ever to have lived.  
“Hey! I was having a good dream! I was eating a six course meal,” Peter said angrily.  
“It's only a bit of a laugh,” James guffawed.  
“Come on, let's get ready to go down for breakfast,” instructed Remus.

Everyone obliged and after twenty minutes of taking showers, getting changed and brushing teeth, the boys were ready for the day. They noisily piled down the stairs and went to exit the common room when they realised that between them, even with Remus' expansive memory (how else would he remember everything he'd ever read), they had no idea of how to get to the Great Hall. Rather than ask someone else for directions, the independent Remus ran upstairs, acquired his map from Professor McGonagall and came back, holding said parchment aloft, “McGonagall gave me a map yesterday after the feast, it's basic but I figured I can add to it if needs be,” Remus explained, feeling grateful that he'd been given the map. Fortunately for Remus, the others didn't ask any questions about why he'd been given it, but instead, they went on their way.

It wasn't long before they'd reached the Great Hall where they were greeted by a grand array of breakfast-suited dishes. Peter was transfixed and had to be pinched before he came back to reality. The four went and sat down at the Gryffindor table, near to Lily Evans- by request of James, of course. Sirius found himself sitting next to a certain Marlene McKinnon, who's positive persona and cheery smile made him feel instantly happier. He chatted to her as he ate, engaging in small talk before he came to a drastic realisation.  
“Marlene,” he began, “Doesn't your brother play for the Chudley Cannons? As a chaser?”  
“Yeah! That's right, Matthew McKinnon. I'm a beater myself,” she explained.  
“No fucking way. I'm a beater too! Are you going to trial for the quidditch team in second year? It was all James was going on about on the train. He persuaded me to trial as well,” Sirius replied.  
“I'm not sure yet, I might, I wouldn't want to make you feel bad if there's only one spot and I beat you to it,” Marlene smirked, cheekily.  
“I'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen then,” Sirius retorted, laughing. 

“Hi, Marlene, is this seat taken? Cool. Hi, Marlene's friend,” Mary cut in, seating herself on the other side of Marlene.  
“Hi, Mary. This is Sirius,” Marlene informed her, “We've been talking about quidditch."  
“Quidditch?” Mary wrinkled her nose up, “Can't say I'm that fond of it myself. Anyway, just came to say the post'll be here in a sec.”  
“Oh yes, I'm expecting a letter from Mother,” Marlene confirmed.  
“Here it comes,” Mary stated.

Owls of all shapes, colours and sizes emerged from the open windows, letters entwined around their ankles and newspapers in their mouths. Parchment rained from the ceiling as the majestic birds delivered their cargo. The otherwise rowdy hall was submerged in a fatally sharp silence as a red envelope landed on Sirius' plate.  
“Is that a howler?” Remus asked, concerned.  
“Everything alright, mate?” checked James.  
“Yeah s'fine,” Sirius replied, “Do I open it or no?”  
“Go on open it, I love a bit of gossip,” persuaded Mary. 

Sirius cautiously pulled back the seal on the crimson wrapping, his heart rate increasing to the swift beat of a military march. As soon as the seal was off, the envelope contorted into an angry face before shouting at the top of it's paper lungs. In Walburga's voice.  
“SIRIUS ORION BLACK. I AM APPALLED BY THE EXTREME ACT OF DISHONOUR YOU HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST OUR FAMILY. GENERATIONS AND GENERATIONS HAVE BEEN THWARTED AT YOUR EVIL HAND. HOW DARE YOU BE SORTED INTO THAT FOUL, LOATHSOME HOUSE. I SHALL NOT STAND FOR IT. I AM WRITING TO PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE TO SEE IF YOU CAN BE TRANSFERRED TO SLYTHERIN. IF NOT, WELL, THERE WILL BE PUNISHMENT. IF YOU STEP A SINGLE TOE OUT OF LINE, I WILL TAKE YOU OUT OF HOGWARTS AND YOU CAN REPLACE KREACHER AS THE HOUSE ELF. I HOPE I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR.”  
And with that, the howler burst into flames, mid-air, a pile of ash falling atop Sirius' half-eaten toast.

“Okay then,” said Sirius, not shocked in the slightest, “You know what this means, James?”  
“Not at all,” replied James, playing dumb.  
“I will be stepping all ten of my toes out of line. After we've finished exploring this place, I think we can find a use for your dungbombs,” Sirius bargained.  
“Absolutely. I'm right there with you,” agreed James.  
“Now now, don't get into trouble on day one, seriously,” Remus chastised, as Sirius grinned before opening his mouth to speak, “Don't even think about it Sirius.”  
Sirius hung his head in mock shame as he mimed being shot through the heart, “Come on, Remus- bring the map- , Pete, James, let's go explore!”  
Remus turned to Lily and sighed, “Sorry Lils, babysitting duties call.”  
“Bye, Remus,” returned Lily before joining in conversation with Marlene, Mary and Dorcas. 

“Where shall we go first?” Peter asked.  
“How about the dungeons?” offered Sirius, smirking.  
“Nah, we'll save that for a bit later on, let's just see where the corridors take us for now, eh,” replied James.  
“Sounds good to me,” Remus piped. Anything other than playing a prank seemed good to him. After all, they did have a map. The quick-thinking Remus had brought a quill, in case they found anything worth of noting down on the map.  
The four walked onwards, down corridors, up staircases and through unlocked doors. They soon found themselves in front of the library. As soon as Remus looked through the open door, he leapt for joy, “I was hoping we'd find the library!”  
“We're not going in,” Sirius chuckled.  
“But..but... it's heaven in a room!” Remus protested.  
“Yeah, but we can save studying for later, we've got four days of freedom before school starts!” James implored, adamant that he would not set foot in the library unless there was an emergency. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was mortally terrified of the librarian, Madame Pince. If looks could kill, Madame Pince's would. He was certain her patronus was a basilisk. 

“Fine,” Remus reluctantly agreed, “Why don't we go and look in the greenhouses? Or we could go and pay a visit to Hagrid, he did say we could whenever we wanted to.”  
“Hagrid's it is,” piped Peter, he had no intention of going near plants. Hay fever was a curse. He even sneezed at the thought.  
“Okay then,” James and Sirius said in unison. After high-fiving each other, James and Sirius started to lead the others away, realised Remus was the one with the map, and let Remus lead the way.  
“After this, we're gonna have to do the dungbombs,” Sirius declared, “You know that Hagrid talks a lot.”  
The four set off, strides matching, following Remus away. They soon came to a halt outside the Whomping Willow which Sirius stared at, from a safe distance, of course.  
“Wow. That is one tree,” Sirius observed, as the tree swatted at a bird seeking a nesting place. Let's just say the bird didn't need to find a place to nest anymore. A grave would be sufficient.  
“I think we should move away from the tree,” proposed Remus, “It looks dangerous.”  
“Yeah, I agree,” replied Peter, quaking in his boots. 

Soon after, the group had reached Hagrid's hut. James confidently knocked on the door to hear the familiar thick west country accent sound, “Come in.”  
The boys tentatively entered the smoke filled room. Sirius took in his surroundings with a mixture of guilt and curiosity. How could such a big person live in such a small property, and he a grand house? And further, what were all the different pots, pans and oddities for?  
“Alright there, lads?” Hagrid greeted them, “Rock cake, anyone?”  
“Yes please,” the four responded simultaneously.  
“I didn't expect anyone to come n' visit me today, I'll be honest. But now you're 'ere, you're welcome to make yourselves comfortable,” Hagrid handed them a tray of solid balls and gestured to a hand-crafted, wooden bench, which the boys appreciatively sat on.  
“'Ere, you must be Lyall's son, Remus is it?” Hagrid asked.  
“Yes Sir,” replied Remus, rubbing his tooth from the aftermath of biting into one of Hagrid's cakes.  
“Oh, you needn't call me sir, Hagrid'll be fine,” Hagrid assured him, “If you're anything like your father, you'll be an outstanding learner.”  
“Yes indeed,” Sirius agreed, “Never has his head out of a book.”  
Hagrid chuckled, “That don't surprise me some'ow. Mr Black, I presume?”  
“Yes Sir, I mean Hagrid,” Sirius corrected himself, “And this is James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.”  
“Alright lads?” asked Hagrid politely.  
After some deep discussion about Hogwarts and the like (the topic even escalating to Voldemort at one point, which Hagrid shouldn't have said anything about), the boys had learnt much about Hogwarts, the staff and school life.  
“Well, thank you for being so kind to us, Hagrid, but we'd best be off now,” announced James as the other three agreed with him. They muttered variations of thank you and goodbye before vacating the premises and heading back to Hogwarts. 

“Right then,” started James, “We'd better go to lunch now.”  
The four companionably made their way to the Great Hall, following Remus, where they sat down next to Marlene, who was talking to Alice Fortescue, a rather pretty second-year with dark-blonde hair. Unfortunately, Lily was talking to Severus, and so, James couldn't sit next to her.  
The four ate their food faster than humanely possible. Even Remus was excited to prank Severus and the other Slytherins: he had always disliked Snape, and his hanging around with Death Eaters in the making didn't help his cause any. 

Before long, the boys had finished their food and they raced back to Gryffindor Tower to retrieve James' dungbombs. They shared excited and rushed conversation as they all waited for the inevitable. McGonagall may have made a mistake in giving James and Sirius access to a, however basic, map of Hogwarts. Hurriedly, they followed Remus' directions down to the dungeons. The quill Remus had brought was put to use multiple times as he noted down obscure passageways, broom cupboards and potential hiding places from behind tapestries, to on windowsills. 

At long last, the enlivened boys had reached the dungeons . Amidst their thrill, they had completely forgotten about James' invisibility cloak, but the pure adrenaline of it all dismissed it as a problem. They just wanted to prank the Slytherins. But first they had to wait. They waited and waited for a Slytherin to enter or exit the common room entrance. They waited for what seemed like a century before Sirius saw a familiar Slytherin enter the bare stretch on stone wall. However, by a stroke of misfortune, Lucius Malfoy (who Sirius knew as Narcissa's boyfriend) waited for the entrance to seal itself before walking away and none of the boys had heard the password. 

Nevertheless, Sirius was not discouraged. In the spur of the moment, he marched up to the stone 'wall' and said "Pure-Blood". Miraculously, the wall disappeared, leaving an entryway in its place.  
“Woah,” Sirius whispered, “That was just a mildly insulting guess, I never thought they'd actually have blood-status as a password!”  
“Well done, mate. Let's just throw in the dungbombs then get out of here,” James congratulated him.  
Armed with the precarious weapons, they hurled them as far as possible through the entrance.  
“Run!” Remus exclaimed, not a hint of apprehension in his voice. 

The boys sprinted faster John Walton Smith, laughing all the while as they raced to get back to the Gryffindor side of the castle. Catastrophically, as they rounded a corner, the boys ran straight into none other than Professor McGonagall herself.

***

“Really, boys?” McGonagall tutted, sitting at her office's desk, “Dungbombs? On your first full day of Hogwarts? Unacceptable. Simply unacceptable. That will be twenty points from Gryffindor and you will spend the next two days in detention. Really, I expected more from you all.”  
The four hung their heads in shame as they exited McGonagall's office. When they were a while down the corridor Sirius piped up, “That was awesome,”  
“It was,” confirmed James, proudly.  
“I have never ran faster in all of my life,” Peter added to raucous laughter.  
“I can't believe we were caught,” complained Remus, “I don't mind being involved with pranks but if we're going to get caught, then no! Lessons haven't even started yet! What a bunch of marauders you are.”  
“Oh shush, Remus. If we're marauders, then you are too,” Sirius argued.  
“Hey, wait. The Marauders,” said James, “The Marauders,” he repeated, getting a feel of the term.  
“The Marauders,” echoed Sirius, “I like it. Hands up for who wants to be called the Marauders from now on!”  
James, Sirius and Peter all put their hands up, whilst Remus' stayed firmly by his side.  
“No, absolutely not. We will not make a habit of marauding!” he exclaimed.  
“It's three against one Remus, you're outnumbered,” stated James, sympathetically patting Remus on the shoulder. Remus rolled his eyes, he rather liked the name after all. And it was with his friends, so that made it worthwhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John Walton Smith was a 400m sprint world-record breaker.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> :)


	5. The Day of the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter involves the day leading up to the full moon.  
> CW for flashbacks, angst and mildly graphic descriptions of lycanthropy.  
> Enjoy :)

Sunday 4th September 1971 

Sirius groggily awoke but not to James pacing or Pete snoring. Sirius was woken up by Remus, who was tossing and turning frantically in his bed. He watched Remus as he grew breathless, appearing anxious and afraid, scrabbling at the duvet covers. Sirius began to panic as the fidgeting grew more intense and sweat was beading on Remus’ forehead. To Sirius’ horror Remus shouted, “Noooo!” before letting out a blood-curdling scream. Sirius desperately scrambled out of bed, went over to Remus and shook him by the shoulders, “Remus! Remus, are you okay?”  
When Remus didn’t gain consciousness, Sirius hurriedly awoke James and explained to him what was happening, “I’ll get a glass of water,” declared James.  
When James returned with the water, he proceeded to pour it over Remus’ head, to wake him up. Thankfully, it did the job and Remus woke with a start, “It was just a dream?” sighed Remus, relieved.  
“Bloody hell,” James began, “If that was a dream, I dread to think what your nightmares are like!”  
Remus laughed nervously as he got out of bed and went to the bathroom, “Excuse me.”

He stared at the mirror. His gaze followed the scar that ran from behind his ear to his jaw. Though faint, there was no mistaking the silvery white line that adorned his face. He had been dreaming of that fateful night. When he’d gotten the ability to inflict the scars. On himself.  
He was only five years old when Fenrir Greyback broke through the Lupins’ fragile, wooden door, seeking out another helpless victim. Remus. He could still feel the blinding pain searing through his side as Greyback’s fangs pierced his skin and Greyback’s saliva met with his blood. He remembered his father tried to defend him, but there was no chance that you’d be able to defeat Greyback once he’d sought out to turn. Remus winced as he recalled the light fade from his father’s eyes when he realised that Remus had been turned. By Greyback.  
Apprehensively, Remus undid the buttons of his nightshirt where his eyes pursued the multitude of similar silver cris-cross lines until they reached the two neat puncture scars. Where he’d been bitten.  
Thanks to that night when Remus was turned, he’d been locked away every full moon. Each month’s transformation was spent enclosed, by himself. With no other way to channel his werewolf temperament, he tore at his own body, slicing at his own skin, leaving behind deep wounds, fractures and more. And those scars would never leave him.  
He glared at them now, angry at himself. I’m a monster, he thought. An abundance of questions swam in his mind. What if the others found out? What if they hated him for it? What if they never spoke to him again? Tears began to form at the corners of his eyes, but he wiped them away. Emotions were running away with him now that it was so close to the full moon. He’d never normally act in this manner. He just couldn’t let the others find out. But how long would they believe him about his supposed ‘sick grandma’? It didn’t bear thinking about. 

Remus buttoned his shirt, dried his eyes and left the safety of the bathroom. Fortuitously, both Sirius and James had apparently forgotten about the situation as they set about waking Peter up. Trying not to attract attention, Remus tentatively fetched some clothes for the day (his usual choice of brown cardigan and tweed trousers) and re-entered the bathroom. Under no circumstances was he about to let the others see his scars. There was a close call yesterday- the four were late to their second day of detention and in the rush, Remus got changed swiftly on his bed. As luck would have it, no one paid attention to Remus at that moment, and he was able to walk away unscathed. That had been too close for his liking. 

Washed, changed and teeth brushed, Remus emerged from the bathroom to see James and Sirius arm wrestling, He rolled his eyes, everything was back to normal. Or as normal as it could be.  
“Everyone ready for breakfast?” asked Remus, observing Peter, who was still very much in bed.  
“Just need to have a wash,” replied James.  
“Yeah, same here,” answered Sirius, “I’ll go and use the communal one, mate, you have the one here.”  
“Thanks, mate,” came James, patting Sirius on the back. 

Sirius saw Remus sit back on his bed, open a book on a marked page and read as he made way for the showers. Shower obtained, Sirius set it to cold, he was half-asleep still and was hoping the temperature would shock him awake. He let his mind wander as he washed. Why was Remus so secretive? Why did he have such a bad ‘dream’? Sirius was certain that there was something that Remus wasn’t telling him. He just had to find out what. Similar thoughts flooded his mind and by the time he had finished washing, Sirius was adamant that he would keep close tabs on Remus to find out what exactly he was hiding. 

Sirius got changed and headed back to the dormitory, now fully awake. He returned to find James and Remus ready and waiting. A grin found its way to his mouth as he saw Peter, still dead to the world.  
“Should we leave Peter here and just go down for breakfast?” Sirius suggested.  
“Yeah, okay,” Remus replied.  
“That’s fine by me,” answered James. 

And so, the incomplete group kindly let Peter stay asleep as they went to the Great Hall for their substantial breakfast. Halfway through their time in the Great Hall, Peter joined them, thanking them for the sacred extra minutes in bed.  
“Just so you know, Pete, we won’t be able to do that every day. School starts tomorrow so this is the last day that can happen,” laughed Remus.  
“Speaking of last day,” added Sirius, winking at James, “Tonight’s probably the last chance we’ll get to explore the restricted areas of Hogwarts, we can use your cloak. What do you say? Remus? Pete?”  
“Absolutely not,” snapped Remus (the upcoming full moon was affecting his otherwise stable temper), “I’ve got to visit my Grandma, remember?”  
“Come on, Remus. Take a chill pill! If we have the invisibility cloak, we can do it any time! And you would still be able to visit your Grandma. It’s a win-win situation,” countered Sirius, pleased with his reasoning.  
“Sirius is right,” added James.  
“Fine. But only if it’s with the cloak. I don’t want us to get caught again,” agreed Remus.  
“Yay!” piped Peter, who was secretly terrified.  
“You can bring your map, Rem,” said James, “We can add to it if we find anything interesting.”  
“Fine, but if this goes all to cock, I’m running away and McGonagall can deal with you,” announced Remus.  
“That’s fair,” James agreed.  
“What are we waiting for then? Let’s go!” exclaimed Sirius, pleased at wearing Remus down. 

The boys excitedly flurried from the Great Hall, raced back for the map and the invisibility cloak and set off. Sirius and James were above themselves with enthusiasm, they couldn’t wait to explore every corner of Hogwarts, with no chance of getting caught thanks to the cloak. After a fairly long walk, the boys found themselves on the Quidditch Pitch. Obviously, James had absolutely nothing to do with them ending up there, but now they were there, he made the most of it. Coming out from under the cloak, James ascended into a frenzy as he skipped around the greenery, taking in the smell of morning, rapidly decaying summer and was that sweat?  
James ran around like an excited puppy as none other than the Gryffindor Quidditch Team appeared at the changing rooms entrance. He was speechless as he watched the players stride their brooms for the last-minute practise session before lessons.  
“James! Stop! You’re embarrassing us!” exclaimed Sirius.  
“Yeah, James. Calm down, you’ll fall arse about face in a minute if you’re not careful,” laughed Remus, glad that it was diverting them from impending doom if they were to carry on exploring Hogwarts.  
“He definitely planned this,” chipped in Peter, “He was talking to a fifth year at breakfast about when practice was.”  
“James! What happened to exploring?” asked Sirius.  
“We’ll do that eventually, but this is better,” explained James, a note of pride in his voice. 

It took the sane Marauders several hours before they could pull James away for lunch. They didn’t need the cloak after all that; they hadn’t done anything exciting. Well, it was exciting for James, at least who was overcome with ecstasy as he informed the others about his plans to trial for the team as soon as possible.  
“It’s not fair that first years aren’t allowed to bring their own broomsticks,” James complained, “If we were, I’d have trialled this year!”  
“There there, James,” Sirius comforted him, “Now, eat your sandwiches and shut up!”  
Remus smirked as even Sirius, who was rather into quidditch himself, was driven crazy my James’ clamouring. Unfortunately for Remus, after lunch, the troublesome twosome, James and Sirius, had every intention of exploring the rest of Hogwarts. And so, Remus and Peter were dragged along with them.

However, for Remus, there was light at the end of the tunnel: he was able to add many other important places to his map, and by the time they’d gotten back for dinner, his hand was aching with all the writing. Remus was slightly disappointed at not having visited the library yet, something Sirius seemed to catch up on because he turned to Remus, mid forkful of beef and promised, “We’ll go to the library after lessons tomorrow. Might have to leave James with Pete, he doesn’t seem keen on the librarian."  
Remus laughed, “I’d like that.”

Sirius carried on eating his beef; his black shoulder-length waves mistakenly tumbling into his face as he went; so much so, that Marlene became irritated and forced him to let her tie up his hair, “There, now you won’t end up with as much of a hairball in your stomach,” she commented to Sirius’ laughter.  
“Thanks, Marls,” he smiled before defiantly returning to his beef. That was a very tasty portion of beef, he thought.

Before long, Remus excused himself from the table and said goodbye to his friends- he had to head to the hospital wing now: it was 5:30pm. Although he had the map, he didn’t fancy getting lost and setting an enraged werewolf about the school, so off he went to Madam Pomfrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> This chapter might have been mildly irrelevant but I wanted to include realistic feelings and anxiety, particularly shown towards the start of the chapter.  
> Thank you for reading so far!


	6. The Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for graphic descriptions.  
> This is a short chapter, but I thought that the transformation should be kept separate to the rest as it's an extreme event.

Early Evening, 4th September 1971

All in all, it took Remus about ten minutes to get to the Hospital Wing, where he was promptly greeted by Madam Pomfrey. A young witch in regulation uniform with a kind smile, Remus knew she would be perfectly capable of taking care of his affliction. He knew she was a gifted Healer; she’d have to be, to be tasked with his transformations.   
“Hello, Mr Lupin,” Madam Pomfrey greeted him.  
“Hello, Madam Pomfrey. Please, call me Remus,” he smiled.  
“Right then, Remus. You are a bit early, but I figure that if we can get going now, I can talk you through what will happen. Sound good?”  
“Yes, Madam Pomfrey,” answered Remus.  
Madam Pomfrey led him on, through Hogwarts. It was getting cold now, the last dregs of summer dying out, ready for next year. Soon, the pair reached the grand Hogwarts doors, which Madam Pomfrey led Remus out of. They followed a wide gravel path down to a short distance away from the Whomping Willow itself. The otherwise aggressive tree seemed to be at peace, with nothing disturbing it, for now. 

“As I’m sure Professor McGonagall has informed you, you will spend your transformation in the Shrieking Shack. We did have to evict the poltergeists living there to make it more comfortable for you, especially when you’re in the lycanthropic state,” Pomfrey explained, “I advise you take off your clothes when I leave, to save them from being damaged by the transformation. Leave them high up so the wolf cannot get to them. I’ll come to collect you at 6:30am and I’ll tend to your injuries how I see fit.”  
“Thank you, Madam,” replied Remus.  
“My pleasure, Remus,” Pomfrey continued, “There are multiple ways to get to the trapdoor at the base of the tree but the one I’ll use is the immobility charm. In case of emergency, that knot on that root immobilises the tree when pressed. That’s all you need to know really. I’ll come with you down the passageway and show you the Shack today.”  
“Yes please, Madam,” said Remus, gratefully. 

With that, Madam Pomfrey deftly immobilised the dangerous tree and led Remus through the secret passage to the Shack itself. She helped Remus make himself comfortable and then bade him farewell. Meanwhile, Remus was terrified. He could see through the broken window that the sun was low on the horizon. Time to put my clothes away, he thought.   
Clothes atop a wardrobe, Remus shivered under a thin, grey blanket. If the transformation wasn’t so painful, Remus would say that this was the worst part. The waiting. The anticipation. The prolonged fear. 

Remus’ heart froze as the last ray of sunshine sank beneath the skyline.   
A switch flicked in Remus’ brain and his pupils dilated so much that his irises were not visible.   
Remus’ entire body began to mould itself into a new shape. Yet, the clay was not soft, it was of flesh and bone. Deafening crunches rang out from every joint and socket as bones snapped, lengthened, pierced the skin and popped back into each new position.  
A fiery torment gripped Remus’ body as his skull enlarged, pulling his own mind from the werewolf’s.   
And then, there was no Remus.  
The werewolf howled in pain and terror as the restructuring of his bones reverberated agony around his body.   
Then the torture grew. Deathly sharp pricks stabbed like needles through the werewolf’s flesh, stitching a new skinsuit. Of silver fur. Sewing strands through the dermis like there was no tomorrow. The werewolf let out a demonic screech as claws perforated through its fingertips. The intense pain caused the wolf to thrash at the ever-growing pelt. 

The transformation into the wolf finished as suddenly as it started, but the werewolf was just beginning. It slammed itself at every wall of its new cage, confused at why it wasn’t the familiar basement. It clearly did not appreciate the change of scenery.   
Splinters of wood flew around the room as the wolf smashed through the door, decimating it. It bounded up the stairs, lashing at its own torso with the long claws, leaving presents of black blood on each step and deep, gaping wounds on its bodice. 

The wolf spent eleven hours chasing shadows through the shack, lacerating its skin, savaging its claws and mutilating its shell. By the time sunrise came, the wolf was mangled, black blood matting its fur, laying in the original room it transformed in.  
Then the pain returned. This time internal rather than more external.   
Flame and fire once again seized the wolf’s body as the fur retracted, leaving the wolf with pins and needles all over. Simultaneously with the fur, the piercing claws withdrew, leaving the wolf’s bare fingers bloody.   
Then the wolf’s skull shrank. Dragging the conscious part of Remus back, to endure the worst part of the transformation. Every bone in Remus’ half-wolf body shortened, splintering and cracking as they did so, until Remus was finally back in his human form. The black blood was now red, with blue and purple bruising painting his skin like a canvas.   
Fingertips butchered, bone was slicing through Remus’ dislocated shoulder, restricting the small amount of movement he could have had.   
Remus couldn’t move. He didn’t think he’d ever been injured as much as he had been last night. From a place deep down, Remus managed to scrounge the smallest amount of energy and pain tolerance to reach for the thin blanket. There was no way he’d be able to get his clothes. He’d just have to cover up with the blanket until Madam Pomfrey came. Not wanting to look at his injuries, Remus closed his eyes and managed to get a short sleep for the thirty minutes wait for Madam Pomfrey's return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
